there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
