Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
