i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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