i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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