eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
