btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
