the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
