He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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