the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
