His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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