Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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