i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
