Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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