careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
