I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
