called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
