I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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