you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
