Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Randomize
