I wannas sexs uuuuu
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize