so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
