Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
