So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
