Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
