Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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