So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize