god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
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