thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
