Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
