If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
