What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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