i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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