All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
