we're blogging at a bar
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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