So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
