I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
