I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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