he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
