So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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