Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I need help removing her.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
