Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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