If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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