god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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