maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
