Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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