I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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