i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
