I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
