hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
