I skipped work to stalk him.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
