Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
