U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
