Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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