remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize