Please don't use social media to get back at me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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