ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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