Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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