Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
