I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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