He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
