Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
