There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
